The Mantle

It’s day 4 back home! For those of you who have traveled internationally, you’ve felt my pain when it comes to jet-lag. I arrived in the morning with my teammate Phil, and our friend Amy who lives in a nearby city. Unfortunately, my body was saying ‘let’s wrap up this day’ but Paris was only starting the day.

Our team leaders were feeling especially giving on Monday, so they picked us up from the airport (Thank the Lord!) as well as our hundreds of pounds worth of luggage. I think I packed enough toiletries to last me the entire year.

Coming back to Paris felt weird. I’ve missed this place so much, but when I walked in the door I looked for my roommates. From the doorway, I can see the majority of our sofa which I’m normally greeted by Lydia from. On Monday, that sofa was just a reminder of the fact that I’m alone.

Most of my days so far have been spent cleaning, going through mail, unpacking, and preparing things for my new team. At night, I watch a movie, drink wine, and cry. Cliche yes, but it’s popular for a reason. Last year Maggie, Lydia and I watched movies a lot in our apartment because of how familiar they are. So when the sadness of being here without them gets to be too much, I turn on a movie and cry it out. Every night. Last night, I decided to do something to help my mental health: I rearranged the mantle. My sweet teammate Maggie (from last year) made a painting that we framed on our mantle, and I love it. But what I realized was that it was an emotional trigger. Every time I looked at that painting, I lost it. So… I moved it. Well, I moved a lot of things. Pretty much everything in this apartment makes me miss Lydia and Maggie so I’m rearranging a lot of little things. I’m sure things will get moved again by my new roommates, but I needed to do it first. I’m incredibly grateful to have some time to myself in this apartment.


4 thoughts on “The Mantle

  1. I love the mantle and just reading through your blog. It helps me feel connected between the times that we don’t get to talk as often as I would like! Hope all is going well. Miss you!

  2. Tracy, you are so brave and awesome!! I couln’t have done what you are doing!!!! I think about you a lot. We were in Italy this summer. If you have an opportunity to go there take it. It was so much fun. Love you.

    1. Thanks Aunt Kathy!! I visited Italy a few years ago, and that’s when I first considered living overseas. I’m looking into a visit back to Rome this year… I’d love to see your pictures!

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