Everyday I become more and more used to this new chapter. I have officially moved back to America and started a life in transition. I live a life in limbo and I don’t think that will ever change. I don’t think it needs to change or even possible to get out of ‘limbo.’ I can’t think of a single person who isn’t living between something. Whether it’s living in the in between of college and career, pregnancy and birth, or here and now and the healing of later, we’re all in limbo.
Transitioning back to not just American culture, but also the city of Orlando has been hard. So many things have caught me off guard and are still surprising me. Here are a few:
- getting ID’d at a restaurant or grocery store
- the bad reputation of public transportation
- small and expensive selection of organic foods at the grocery stores
- “farmer’s markets”
- coffee menus
- getting asked at a store if I found everything alright
- paying tax at the store
- stocking up on food at the store versus going every other day
While living in Paris, everyday I did things that made me look like an idiot. It took a lot of getting used to and it was the most humbling experience I’ve had so far. But I thought that would change when I returned to the US. I no longer have the excuse of, “I’m sorry, this isn’t my native language” or “I’m a foreigner,” but I wish I did. How do you explain that even though you’re from around here, you don’t actually understand the lifestyle. Not in a judgemental way… just in a really pathetic “I need someone to help explain this because I just don’t remember or understand.” I still do things the wrong way and people stare. And please don’t hear “I’m so creative, I go against the grain.” I mean I don’t do things the right way.
So as I transition into another chapter of life, I thought the blog (though not so regular) should transition too. Here’s to being brave and leaning into transition.